Why can't I concentrate?

I’m currently sat by myself. It is raining outside, and the place is deserted. I was supposed to be hosting a networking event today. I turned up and early and sat and waited. And waited. And waited.

Nobody came.

Not one person.

As I sat with my latte and a smile on my face, inside I felt a little sad and disappointed. I mean I know that it is the busiest time of the year and people are so overwhelmed and stressed, but still…

I pottered about a little bit. I opened my book to read, I ALWAYS have a book of some description with me. Today I have at least 10 in my bag.

I couldn’t concentrate, my mind kept wandering.

So, I started research for my next radio show (It’s on Sine FM 102.6 if you are interested 😊)

It seemed to go well, well for at least 10 mins. My mind wandered again.

I browsed the internet and Facebook; I can see what everyone else is up to. I called my daughter and said ‘Hi’ to my granddaughter. She was in no mood for company, my granddaughter that is. She was far too interested in ‘Ben & Holly’. To be fair if I was 1 and a half I would be too.

Right back to work…

My mind wandered again. This was getting ridiculous. Do I go home and sit like a potato there or try to find some motivation?

I messaged my husband, he didn’t reply. I’m not surprised by that either. He is probably up a tree somewhere, swinging a chainsaw around and not able to get to his phone.

Right back to work…
Why can’t I just focus?

I was becoming more and more frustrated at this inability to get on with anything productive today. Then it hit me. What was I trying to distract myself from? So, I sat for a few minutes and stared out of the window. I watched a magpie and the traffic passing by. I drank my coffee (3^rd cup) and just allowed whatever was underneath this feeling to surface.

After a short while, I realised that right now, I feel lonely.

I also realised where that feeling was coming from. As a solo therapist and self-employed I spend a lot of my time in my own company. When I am with others, I am usually trying to facilitate something or offering support. While I like my own company, I think I needed to connect with others in a different way. It seems ridiculous that I spend practically every day speaking to others yet feel disassociated and on the outside of everything.


Now I have figured that out, I know what I need to do now. I need to connect in ways that help me feel a part of something. I am meeting a couple of friends for coffee over the next few days and telling my husband that we need a night snuggled in. No phones, no distractions just us and a film to drift in and out of.

Once you notice and accept those feelings that are making you feel distracted and uneasy, you can then decide how to address them, if at all.

All we need to do now is agree on a film…