Mindfulness Day

Today is quite a new day on the calendar, it was originally created by not-for-profit Wisdom Publications as a way to promote mindfulness and rise awareness about is benefits.


Even though the idea of having a dedicated day to mindfulness is relatively new, the concept of mindfulness was defined by Jon Kabat Zinn in 1979. The principles however span back centuries and has its roots in Buddhism.


As a buzz word mindfulness is thrown around with wild abandon, it is on trend, and most people have probably heard about it. Some prophesise that it is better than medication for the treatment of depression and others think it is some kind of woo woo shizz.


As a therapist it can feel like people expect it to be some kind of miracle cure for mental illness. That is a little worrying. As a tool along with the right support, it really can be helpful but by itself it may not bring the fire power you might expect.


There is also a bit of a culture that being mindful is about gently sipping your morning coffee and while there is some truth in that, you can be mindful in any situation.


It isn’t always experiencing things positively. If you were to lose a favourite pet or have an argument with a loved one, it is unrealistic to expect that you would be experiencing a positive emotion. In fact, you may be feeling all kinds of things such as sadness, anger, frustration or even confusion. By sitting with and acknowledging the emotion you may find that it starts to dissipate, by acknowledging a feeling you can also place a distance between yourself and the feeling so you can observe it rather than becoming caught up in it.


Going back to the ‘argument with a loved one’ example, rather than allowing your thoughts to run away, you can decide if, or how, you may wish to respond. You become less reactive and more in control of your actions.


This can be great when helping issues such as anxiety. When we practice being mindful, we can acknowledge those thoughts and feelings. We can create a space in which to explore where they are coming from. One of the exercises I like to get clients to do is challenge those unhelpful thoughts and to see how accurate they are. By working through them they are less likely to have such a powerful effect.


Can you remember the game Buckaroo? Imagine the negative thought as the Buckaroo mule. The subconscious loves to add stories and drama to thoughts and feelings and I like to think of those as the accessories that you try to balance onto the mule. As they start to build up, the pressure starts to build until BAM!!!!! Everything is a mess.


Back to the argument… You are hurt or angry about the argument and walk away feeling rubbish. The subconscious starts to think about all those times in the past when maybe you have argued and maybe how all those times you never got to have your say. You remember how many times they may have been inconsiderate to your feelings and how they never care about what you in any way. In fact, they ALWAYS put themselves first.


You conveniently forget the time they rushed round when you didn’t feel well and babysat your kids, or the birthday surprise they arranged. The fact that they always tag you in fb posts that they think you may like or have been there to share good times. You also start to ‘fortune-tell’ about what might happen because of the argument. I’ll bet that they tell so and so that it was your fault or maybe you are never going to talk again. Well that’s it, they can think again if they think you are going to be the one running to them etc etc until you feel absolutely furious or heartbroken (whichever way it goes) Does any of this seem familiar?


What we can do using mindfulness is accept the emotion, understand why it is there and distance ourselves in a useful way so that we can challenge those dramatic thoughts and stories our subconscious is piling on there. By doing so we see the situation for what it is and allows us some time to decide what we may want to do, if anything. We may even start to see their point of view or how upset and angry they were.


As I said it’s a great tool, but only if it is understood properly. Sipping a gorgeous cup of coffee while you are fuming may have some benefits, but my guess is those feelings are still under there and are ready to pop back up at any point. So, do both, have your coffee but practice checking in and being mindful more often and see what happens.


There are many ways to use and practice being mindful, but for now just be in the moment.

Happy Mindfulness Day!