I’m sat in the car with tears running down my face. Not discreet, ladylike tears, I’m talking hot, snotty tears tracking their way through my make-up. If anyone were to walk past, they might think my life is falling apart.


Let me go back in time to fully explain how I end up sobbing in my car…


A month or so ago I downloaded an app called TikTok. I am down with the kids, much to the disgust of my daughters. For those that aren’t aware, TikTok is a platform for people to post short videos on anything they like. There is a lot of lip syncing going on and creative types showing you hypnotic videos of cakes being decorated. I started following a few people whose content I enjoyed including one called #heyeliza. The guy is actually called Chance, but the hashtag tells you what the videos are about. The dad on the videos follows his little girl around with the opening words “Hey Eliza…” he would then proceed to tell cringy dad jokes to his 1-year old daughter. I like that kinda stuff, so I started to follow them, looking out for his daily videos.


One day recently a video pops up and we are informed that Eliza has got cancer. She is barely 1 year old, and she has to have an operation to remove a tumour from her kidney. A few videos later she has had surgery to remove a tumour from her brain. A scar runs up the back of her tiny head.

As her parents continue to document their little girl’s battle with cancer, I realise that I am so invested in this little girl getting better. I check every day to see how she is as she completes 6 rounds of chemo. Chemo that is making her sick and her hair fall out. She is sore and puffy and suffering to some extent. I can feel the tears building again as I remember what a fighter she is.


The thing that I can’t get over is how in these videos she is still able to smile; she still wants her stuffed owl and she is basically being a 1 year old. It’s like she doesn’t even know how serious this shit is. This leads me to think of how different children are to adults. Not in the obvious ways but the way they live in the moment. She is living to be able to have cuddles with her mum and dad, she is living to play with her toys, and she isn’t consumed with fear. I know that all that seems obvious, but how many of us are paralysed with fear about what could happen?


This little girl has no clue about anything other than what is happening right now. There is no worry about the future. What a beautiful way to live.


If prayers and loving thoughts could cure this kid, she would be out of the woods and completely healthy already. She is never far from my thoughts, because it brings home how from one moment to the next, we don’t have tomorrow promised never mind weeks, months and years.
What hits home is how much we are wasting life. We worry and create issues that aren’t there. We fear judgement and loss, we are terrified in case we fail.


Is that a life that has been lived to its fullest? Is that a life where every single moment has been squeezed out of it?

We want so much for our children; we want them to conquer the world and have more than we ever had. We give all of ourselves to give them the best start and make them a priority. But what about the child inside of us? What about our hopes and dreams? So far, we have survived our worst days, but are we living the life we were destined to live?


As I sat in my car and watched Eliza’s beautiful face smiling into the camera it broke my heart. A life should be lived to it’s fullest, how ever long or short, fill it with as much fun, love and laughter as you can.


Take a leaf out of Eliza’s book and live in the moment, because tomorrow isn’t promised…

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